


Better not keep you waiting

by haloQii



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Homophobia, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haloQii/pseuds/haloQii
Summary: A typical love story between Seungmin and Changbin, well maybe not so typical...
Relationships: Kim Seungmin & Seo Changbin
Kudos: 8





	Better not keep you waiting

**Author's Note:**

> This gets dark so stay away if you don't dig that!
> 
> My first time trying to write about a subject like this so if it's shitty I'm sorry

My name's Kim Seungmin. I live in a small one bedroom apartment with my bestfriend/boyfriend. 

He eats all my food and he uses up all my shampoo. And till this day he still forgets to put down the toilet seat. 

"Seungmin hyung, you got any snacks we can chew on? " Jeongin asked. We were busy studying for this stupid history exam that got announced way to late for our liking. 

"Sorry buddy, Changbin ate the last bag of chips" I reminded him, he saw him eat it a few minutes ago. 

Didn't he? I told him to quite down his chewing and Jeongin agreed. Didn't he? 

"Ah right, sorry hyung" He said while starting to pack up his stationary. "I've got to go now hyung, visiting hours are up" He said, what visiting hours? What is he talking about? 

I watched him walk out of my apartment's steel door and watched as a blond man in a white coat closed it for me. He does it every day without being asked, he's so nice. 

"Changbin I'm going to use the bathroom now, did you put down the toilet seat? " I asked softly into the empty white room I stood in. 

Wait, why am I standing in a white room? Where is the furniture, where is the couch we used to cuddle on? Where is the ugly green rug filled with his coffee stains? Where is Changbin? 

"Changbin? Where are we? Where are you? Why aren't you answering?" Why won't he answer me? Is he angry again? It was an accident... 

"It was an accident, it was an accident, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I'M SORRY HYUNG.... I'm sorry" My voice broke as the last sorry left my mouth. He always does this. He disappears and doesn't talk to me for weeks. I'll just go sleep again.  
_____________________________  
"You murderer, I never want to see you again! I lost a child because of you!" Who is this lady? What is she talking about? Isn't she Changbin's mom? Was she talking about Him? How could I kill him? I love him! 

"I never want you near here again! " Near where? Here? But this is my apartment! I rented it with my money! We live here together! 

"NO THIS IS MY HOUSE! THIS IS OUR HOUSE! WE LIVE HERE TOGETHER! OUR LOVE GREW HERE! " 

Smack. 

"Your love killed my son, it's disgusting" 

"NO! NO NO NO! "  
___________________________________

"NO! " I sat up sweating. Dead? Who's dead? Changbin's not dead! 

"Seungmin, thank god! They called me saying you refused to drink your medicine and weren't responding" Chan hyung said, what's he doing here? Where am I? Medicine? What medicine? 

"Hyung where's Changbin? I had a nightmare about him again! Is he back from the studio yet? " I asked Chan hyung, he works with Changbin! He should know if he left yet. 

"Seungmin, you know he's not coming home. He hasn't been home in two years. Would you just get better already? I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TWO! " Chan hyung shouted. 

Why is he shouting? Why is he talking like the lady in my dream? I'm perfectly fine! I just need to see Changbin! 

"Why are you shouting hyung? I just asked about Changbin! I just want to see my boyfriend! " I don't get it, what's going on? 

"YOU CAN'T SEE HIM ANYMORE SEUNGMIN! HE'S DEAD! HE HUNG HIMSELF! INSTEAD OF DEALING WITH HIS FAMILY'S JUDGMENT HE TOOK A COWARDLY WAY OUT! STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM! HE'S GONE" Chan hyung shouted. 

Oh. 

That's right. 

After Changbin told his family about us he cried for weeks. 

His family shunned him, his mother disowned him, his brothers hurt him and his father just ignored him. 

The disappointment was to hard on him. 

He couldn't take it anymore. 

They were his everything. 

I wasn't enough. 

He left me alone in this world, after promising to face it together. 

Our love killed him, my love killed him. 

I killed him. 

We didn't mean to fall in love. 

It was an accident.

"Seungmin, sweetie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout, I'm really worried about you! Get some rest, I'll be back tomorrow. Take the pills, they help" Chan hyung said and left, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a plastic bottle of pills. 

Why couldn't my love be enough? Why did he leave me to think about this alone? Why did he have to make me question his love?

He loved me! I know he did! He's waiting for me ,patiently, somewhere where nobody will ever be able to separate us, with all the love he had still in his heart. 

I grabbed the tube of pills and gulped down every last one. 

I better not keep him waiting.


End file.
